Donald Trump has been found guilty on all 34 counts in his New York criminal hush money trial, and Jimmy Kimmel wasted no time in roasting the former president.
After the verdict came down on Thursday, the last night host opened his show by announcing the first-ever conviction of a former U.S. president.
“We have a verdict in the case of the People versus OJ — I mean, DJ,” he said. “Donald John Trump is guilty of 34 felony charges.”
The opening monologue was full of jabs amid their ongoing rivalry.
“After seven long weeks, the courtroom is empty, and Donald Trump’s diaper is full,” Kimmel quipped.
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Trump was convicted of falsifying business records to hide a hush money payment to porn star Stormy Daniels ahead of the 2016 presidential election.
Highlights of the trial included testimony from Daniels, former Trump spokesperson Hope Hicks breaking into tears, a gag order on Trump imposed by Judge Juan Merchan, clashes between the judge, defense attorneys and prosecutors, and reports of Trump dozing off in the courtroom.
The comedian said he had to rewrite his monologue after seeing reports that there would be no verdict on Thursday. The announcement that a verdict had been reached came minutes later.
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Kimmel then reenacted the scene in the courtroom when the guilty verdict came down, playing Merchan in a black judge’s robe, and his sidekick Guillermo playing the foreman with an Irish accent.
“Poor Donald Trump,” Kimmel continued. “Seven weeks of sleep-farting, all down the drain. All for nothing.”
Kimmel later wondered what would happen next to Trump, who is set to be sentenced on July 11.
“Which happens to be the day Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton, and it’s the day El Chapo escaped from prison,” the 2024 Oscars host said. “But this is not El Chapo, this is pork choppo we’re talking about.”
Kimmel lit up at the idea that he may be sentenced to community service, pitching that the former president should be required to pick up trash on the side of the road, or that he may be sentenced to house arrest, a “double whammy with cheese” for wife Melania Trump.
“Imagine Trump with a Hefty bag, picking up ketchup packets with one of those grabber pole things. Big truck goes by, blows that cotton candy hair flap to the other side of his head,” he said.
Kimmel and Trump have gone back and forth in recent months. In April, the 45th president ripped Kimmel for the way he presented best picture at the Oscars in March, even though it was Al Pacino who awkwardly handed out the award. Kimmel devoted nearly 10 minutes to fact-checking Trump’s post line-by-line on his late night show that evening.
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“The person who presented the award (for best picture) was Al Pacino, not me,” Kimmel, who hosted the Academy Awards, pointed out. “We are different people. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wish I was Al Pacino. I’m just not. He’s Al Pacino, I’m me. You’d think (Trump) would know that because I’m pretty sure ‘say hello to my little friend’ is what he said to Stormy Daniels that got him in all this trouble.”
SNL’s James Austin Johnson does his Trump impression after verdict
“Saturday Night Live” actor James Austin Johnson, best known for his portrayal of Trump online and on the NBC sketch comedy show, reprised his impression after the guilty verdict came down.
But Johnson’s Trump seemed to be more concerned about Bucca di Beppo than his felony convictions.
“When you go to a Bucca di Beppo, there’s so many wonderful things that are on walls and that there are on the table, frankly, if you look at the pope room, there’s a big head of the pope, and you should be able to play with it, I think,” he said, in Trump’s characteristic tone. “You know when you go to a collectible store and they have so much behind glass, you can’t look at any of it? The last time I checked, Buca di Beppo was not a collectible store, so we would like to be able to take the framed photographs down from the men’s room at Buca di Beppo.”
The bizarre tangent barely got back to the news at hand.
“Instead, what you have is a very disgraceful judge who has said that you’re not allowed to do that when, in fact, you should be allowed to do that because they’re fun pictures,” Johnson continued.
