The U.S. Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps and Office of Military Commissions have convicted the four Colorado Supreme Court justices who labeled President Trump an insurrectionist and disqualified him from appearing on the state’s primary ballot—until the U.S. Supreme Court nullified their unconstitutional ruling in early March.
Opening statements in the case of JAG vs. Richard L. Gabriel, Melissa Hart, Monica Márquez, and William W. Hood took place in GITMO’s south courtroom Friday morning, with all four defendants seated beside one another and represented by a JAG-appointed attorney who cautioned them to not evoke Vice Admiral Darse E. Crandall’s ire.
The Admiral cogently told the four-officer panel that JAG need not prove the justices’ guilt because their flagrant disregard for the Constitution had already established guilt beyond all doubt.
“If the detainees were innocent, the Supreme Court would’ve upheld their decision. If they were innocent, they wouldn’t have fled the country. We wouldn’t have had to hunt them down if they were innocent,” he said.
He said the justices had an incurable case of Trump Derangement Syndrome that metastasized into a terminal hatred of Trump, his family, his supporters, America, and the Constitution.
“They went through the Constitution with a fine-tooth comb, looking for loopholes to exploit that would let them ban President Trump. Finding none, they collectively, willfully, chose to misinterpret the exclusionary cause to fit their agenda—denying Colorado citizens their constitutional right to vote for Trump. Treason. Election interference. Intent to defraud the United States. The detainees must be found guilty on these charges,” the Admiral quarreled.
While he spoke, the detainees, sporting fiery orange jumpsuits and chrome handcuffs, stared despondently at the desk’s surface on which their palms lay flat, fingers spread and rigid. They had taken vows of silence and listened to the Admiral’s allegations with surprising equanimity. Their counsel, a lanky, long-faced man who apologized to the court for appearing with a band-aid on his chin—he had nicked himself shaving that morning—moved for an immediate mistrial on the grounds that their “feelings” for Trump were not prosecutable and their misinterpreting Section 3 of the 14th Amendment of the Constitution was a “harmless error.”
“Admiral Crandall, sir, JAG should discharge this case without prejudice. If not, a change of venue is in order. If my clients are to be charged, let the courts of the District of Columbia oversee the case,” said the defense lawyer.
“Well, it appears we have a court-appointed comedian among us,” Admiral Crandall addressed the panel. “There will be no mistrial, no venue change. This tribunal has been empowered to resolve the detainees’ fate. The facts in this case are irrefutable. The detainees said they disqualified President Trump because he is an insurrectionist, but he has never been charged with that crime. The panel has had adequate time to review the 14th Amendment and—”
“—With the utmost respect, Admiral, this panel, fine officers I’m sure, is not comprised of lawyers. They’re not qualified to legally interpret the Constitution,” the defense counsel said.
“I disagree. These officers swore an oath to uphold the Constitution, which qualifies them. And before wokeism infected the education system, every child over 12 understood the Constitution. It’s improper of you to pass judgment on their reading comprehension skills, councilor,” the Admiral chided.
Out of nowhere, detainee Monica Márquez, the weakest link apparently, began sobbing uncontrollably and, breaking silence, said her co-defendants had inveigled her cooperation in striking Trump’s name from the primary. “I didn’t want to, but they made me!” she wailed.
Her outburst elicited reprimands from both Admiral Crandall and her fellow justices, with the Admiral demanding order in the court and detainee Richard Gabriel calling her a “fu**** lying bitch.”
Admiral Crandall reproved defense counsel for failing to control his clients and threatened to empty the courtroom if the pandemonium continued. He also summoned a squad of military policemen to gag and bag the detainees unless they at once governed their emotions.
Even the panelists wanted in on the action, saying they’d help restore order.
But tensions died down as the MPs drew and pointed Tasers at the unruly defendants.
The Admiral convoked a private assembly with the councilor and the panelists, speaking beyond earshot of the detainees. He then announced that the panel had reached a verdict—guilty on all charges—and that the detainees would hang to death onJune 3. He adjourned the proceedings, and the MPs escorted the condemned from the building.
